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Feature Article
Can’t Be Shy With little Brother
©Lisa Barker

My oldest daughter is shy. Writing this column probably won’t help things either, but you know parents just can’t resist telling a great story no matter what.

So there we were at church on Sunday, visitors just passing through. We chose a neutral seat somewhere in the middle and my youngest, the wiggle-worm, proceeded to wiggle right on down the pew. The family in front of us immediately got up and moved ahead a few rows and my daughter remarked, “That can’t be a good sign.”

She was right, so I thought it prudent to move my little one to the ‘cry room’ that wonderful room they seal you in while kids scream and tear around at breakneck speed. Usually the room is soundproof, the service is piped in and one wall is made of glass so desperate parents can see what is going on. At this particular parish it was directly behind the altar.

I hadn’t intended the older kids to follow me in, but they did, and to her horror, my shy one found herself face to face with the entire congregation. While she tried to pray quietly in the shadows the wiggle worm ran straight up to the glass wall and launched himself at it, sticking like a bug on a windshield.

Father prayed as if a million sticky little children had hit that window before. He didn’t miss a beat. My son, nose and open mouth pressed up against the window imitated with hands held high in praise. I furtively snapped my fingers and growled under my breath, catching his attention, and the wiggle worm hopped over to me then hopped in place for the next twenty minutes.

My daughter wept silently letting her long hair fall forward and hide her face.

“Hey, Rachel!” Wiggle Worm whispered as loudly as a whisper can go. He waved at her, he waved at the whole congregation, but little by little he coaxed a smile and a giggle from his shy stricken sister. It’s hard to stay angry with him especially when he tries so hard to do the right thing. And he was trying.

He waited patiently for the collection basket to come our way and when we were overlooked, he yelled out, “Over here!” The acoustics are marvelous at this particular parish, and with the door to the cry room open his little voice ricocheted from stained glass window to stained glass window.

My shy one may regret this column. She may regret the antics of her little brother in public, but someday this daughter is going to be a great leader. My youngest is just breaking her in to the public life one humiliation at a time.

LISA BARKER of Greenfield, California is a syndicated humor columnist and mom of five. Her latest book is "Before I Had Kids I Was A Size9." See www.JellyMom.com for more information.